When Chasing Rainbows
by Rinkinkirs
Summary: He told me he’d be waiting for me beyond the rainbow. I never understood what he meant. HitsuGin.


**Summary:** "He told me he'd be waiting for me beyond the rainbow. I never understood what he meant."  
**Pairing:** Hitsugaya/Ichimaru  
**Words:** 1139  
**Notes:** Inspired by _Willow's Song_; "I'll catch a rainbow from the sky and tie the ends together". Thanks to the lovely Tyan for being my beta. Constructive criticism is welcomed.  
**[Edit:** People don't seem to get the rainbow reference. Brief explanation at the bottom.**]**  
**Disclaimer:** _Song of the Moon_ was written by Norma Faber. _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me.

* * *

**When Chasing Rainbows**

Sometimes I feel as if there are oceans between us. Vast oceans, filled with tears, regrets, broken promises. A long time ago, we tricked ourselves into believing that nothing would ever change. You would be insufferable, I would be overworked, but we would both cherish the scarce times of peace between us.

But there was nothing between us. I know that now. Nothing to betray. Or would you have betrayed me anyway?

I never had enough things to say to you. Now I have so much I want to say, but not enough words to say it. No matter, now. Those words would be as cold as my soul.

You told me to seek you beyond the rainbow, when the time came.

I never did understand that.

*

He found me on the roof again. His eyes were open and unguarded, for once. I think he had seen through me. After weeks and weeks of avoidance, I was a little too tired to care.

"'tis a nice day," he said.

I didn't answer him – which, in itself, was an answer.

He stayed there for a while, gazing at clouds with me, the lull of sound only broken by his soft exclamations of, "tha' looks like a snake in the grass," or "that's a fox".

Thinking back, I wonder how I could have been so foolish – he put the truth in my lap, and I never noticed the weight. He was the snake in the grass, the cunning fox. Matsumoto never realized how much I was to blame for his betrayal. Perhaps was he playing with me, whispered a thought – but another insists that he wanted me to notice. I never did.

Do I deserve this?

*

There is a slight bout of rain in Rukongai. Ichimaru is no longer reclining against the slated roof, but sitting with his elbows on his knees, looking out over the silhouetted buildings on a backdrop of sunset. I keep looking at him, not turning my face: my lack of self-control around him is upsetting to me, and I'd rather he not notice, or at least grant me the pretence of oblivion.

He glances at me, catches me looking; and there's that insufferable grin again, as if he knows something I don't.

"See somethin' ye like?" he mutters, staring at me with his pinkish-blue eyes. Seeing them has not quite ceased to mesmerise me.

My lips tighten, and I don't answer.

He scoots closer, brushing his long-fingered hand through my hair. I sigh, unable to resist his caress.

"'tis all right, Shiro," he says. "Who needs normal, anyway?"

There's nothing I can do to stop the content smile (still a frown to others) as he lifts my head up to place in his lap. To anyone else, it would seem like a strange thing to do, but Ichimaru has always been strange to me, in so many ways, that I consider it normal. Despite our similarities, we are very different. I tell him that. He laughs.

"Neither of us can follow the norm, Shiro," he says, tugging gently at my hair.

I think he likes saying Shiro, and not because it annoys me: it feels oddly intimate, as if he utters one of my secrets every time he says it. It makes me shiver.

He's peering down at me now, his fingers caressing my face. They come to rest on my lips.

"What's another norm broken?" he whispers.

His fingertips still brushing against my lips, he gently directs me to sit up, then draws me back against his chest. His face comes to rest in the curve of my neck, and his breath sweeps across my skin.

"Shiro, Shiro, Shiro," he whispers. "When?"

I say nothing, and know that he will come tonight.

*

Our difference in height always complicated our kisses.

Shaky breaths, small gasps, vast amounts of skin – then the awkward kisses where I had to lift myself up from your lap, supporting myself on my knees. It was embarrassing.

And your face, so handsome when you smiled, was always wrapped in that smirking mask.

You hid your lanky body beneath large, wide clothes, ashamed of your thin stature.

You knew all the nerves one could possibly pull to make me angry.

Yet, when we were tangled together, you asleep and I halfway there, nothing could compare to you. When you made me itch to draw my sword, you coaxed me into calm again. When I was sad, you made me smile.

And I can't help but think of how foolish I was.

*

Perhaps I blamed him because I was angry. Perhaps he betrayed me for not believing in him. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

"When the time comes, you will find me beyond the rainbow."

What kind of person says that?

*

He lies on the ground, every exhale resulting in another trickle of blood down his chin. I can't bring myself to look in his eyes, so my eyes are drawn to his wounds, even as bile rises in my throat. His left hand is gone. I can see fragments of his spine.

"Shiro," he whispers, coughing up another stream of red. "Told ya, didn' I?"

I furrow my brow, kneeling next to him. At his almost-smile, I lay my head down on his chest, knowing that his red blood will put my hair on fire.

"Told me what?" I whisper back – it seems inappropriate to speak louder. Too many things have passed for normality to take its grip on life again this soon.

And that's when his breathing hitches.

"Shinsou," he whispers.

A gasp leaves his lips as his blade forces its way through his stomach.

I hear screams, far away. Someone calls for a healer. I realise that there's something holding me in place, and when I move – I know that it is his sword. The pain hits, then; blows upon the embers of hell, urges the demons dancing in my chest to be fiercer, faster.

He whispers to me again; I doubt he can manage anything else, now.

"Not leavin' without yeh," he says. "Look for me. I'll be waitin'…"

Stab to the heart. If I weren't a Captain, I'd be dead by now.

He retracts his sword. I can hardly feel the pain anymore. He drags me up to look into his eyes. No tears, no promises. But when he looks at me, he smiles.

"We'll get our chance," he whispers.

He kisses me as my vision fades, and rests his mouth against my ear.

I can still hear screaming as Ichimaru starts to sing.

"_Slumber… my dove, the night is deep…_" He exhales shakily, and the last words wash across my cheeks like a wave. "_The dark's a dream… and sound asleep_."

As I slip away, I hide the sound of his voice in my soul.

* * *

**A.N:** In Norse mythology, the bridge between the world of gods and humans is a rainbow. It's also considered a bridge between Earth and Heaven in Greek mythology. Beyond the rainbow is, in other words, "the other end of the bridge". Seeing as they are dying, and as the Bleach series involves reincarnation, my (apparently not logical enough) conclusion was that they will search for each other in their next life. (Also, as the lovely Tyan pointed out, their relationship is like gold at the end of the rainbow - they could never quite find each other.)

Hope that cleared up a few things.


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